Kris's Covid Pandemic Blog

You have to hide sometimes for fear of being judged. So I've really been off social media since they got here. I do understand it. Some people aren't taking this seriously and it's frustrating because it affects all of us. But when people pass judgement on who you spend time with or what is going on in your life without knowing your family, your reality, your situation, it gets really old. Sometimes you know all the risks and you intentionally and with a lot of thought take them. My dad turned 80 in March. That was a big deal. We very nearly lost him three years ago and I'm not sure he expected to be 80. We planned a birthday party for him. My sister and her family were flying in from out of state. And then...COVID hit. His birthday party technically would have been allowed as it was on March 14, but no one thought it was a good idea. So we canceled it. And that was hard. We'll do something in the summer, we told everyone. No one thought we'd still be locked dow

Today, despite being a day that was not productive in terms of preparing the house for the imminent arrival of family, was productive and even fun. So here's the thing you have to know about my church. It doesn't have a ton of kids. It doesn't have no kids, it just doesn't have a ton. James is in a Sunday School class (when things are normal) for ages three through grade 2. On a typical Sunday, the class has around half a dozen kids or so. I'm not sure what their total registration is, but on average. I can think of maybe five young families that I regularly see attend church. Churches like ours have this problem. Young families tend to gravitate to large churches with praise and worship music and extensive kids programs where you sign your kids in to a child care/Sunday school situation before you go in to the service. And those kind of churches...are not my jam. There's reasons for that, we don't have to go into all that here, they work well for a lot

I forgot until I got a gentle reminder yesterday that I had been invited to join a book group...and I had actually read the book! This is the second book group invitation I've received since the beginning of the quarantine and I think it's fairly safe to say I won't be able to commit to both of them. I tend to get kinda finicky when I'm told what to read which is why I had up until this point been avoiding book groups. Actually, up until this month I had participated in exactly two of them, both of them I was in charge of. As a librarian intern while in grad school I inherited the book group that none of the librarians wanted and I was the intern so I got it. I found the book choices annoying and would usually skim the book and then try to structure generic questions that would get participants talking so I could tune out. Then, in my first real grown up post grad school librarian job I ran a book group for teens in a tiny small-town library. General word on the str

So I forgot they were opening baseball season today until I turned the radio on on the way to the grocery store to get whipping cream. Because Josh asked for strawberry shortcake and while I'm not a a whipped cream fan generally strawberry shortcake can not be made without real whipping cream prove me wrong. But that's how much I had been paying attention to baseball. Now some if it is my team, which is in a rebuilding year for like at least the 3rd year in a row. The 2020 baseball season was going to be hard on Mariners fans...anyway. There's really not much left to root for. At least last Opening Day you could cheer for Ichiro opening the season in Japan even though you knew he was going to retire right after that which he did. So it was gonna be tough. But we are Mariners fans. We are used to that. I grew up with this team. I remember entire sections of upper deck seats in the Kingdome remaining covered because no one sat up there ever. This isn't new. Add to tha

Slept for the second half of Max's nap today (he's never gonna sleep tonight) and this is what ran through my head. I'm awake. I think. I don't feel good. Uh oh. Why don't I feel good. Hey, there's a virus going around. Do I have it? Who have I been around that I might have passed it to. Wait. That doesn't make sense. My throat is dry. My tummy hurts. I just slept for an hour. I think I just need water. I'm okay. I'm not sick. That's not a relaxing way to wake up. I say a lot that I've never *really* been worried about this virus *for me,* mostly about other people. But I've been going through the covers for my thermometer pretty regularly and it does wander through my head...more often than I'd like. It's like...your level of risk doesn't go down. Part of your head gets used to living how we're living and it feels less risky but you know the thing is still out there and people are still getting sick every day. Tod

Mom friends are the best. I didn't know this before I had my first baby, but if you can get together a group of mom friends in your kiddo's first years they get way easier. Bonus points if they are nonjudgmental and have a sense of humor. Not all do. I'm very lucky. One such friend, who I met approximately 100 years ago when our now 6-year-olds were newborns, has been saying for weeks (via text because, you know, quarantine) that we can survive the summer if only we can have a few 1-1 play dates outside. We knew that some of the things we count on to get us through the summer like drop in gymnastics, playgrounds, splash pads, swimming pools, vacations, and library storytimes weren't going to be a thing this summer. And they aren't. But sunshine is and small group social distance gatherings are so yesterday I pulled up the insanely large inflatable kiddie pool I bought while I was pregnant with Max (it has a mom side,) and she and her kid came over to stay cool i

I always admired my mom. My mom could get along with anyone. Have a conversation with anyone. Find common ground with anyone. My mom had a complicated childhood...her dad was an alcoholic who himself had had a complicated childhood and there was a loved but complex extended family. I can remember learning in a health class once about the roles children of alcoholics play in families (the enabler, the savior, the addict...I'm sure the labels are outdated now but that is kind of the way they were defined in the 1990s,) and when I got to the savior role she said, yeah, that was me. It was jarring to me to hear her refer to herself as a child of an alcoholic because she didn't talk about it much. My grandfather died of an aneurism in 1976 before my older sister was born (a lot of my family members died young) so he wasn't a factor in my childhood at all although I knew relatives of his...his sister, etc. I don't know if if was a result of navigating that or what, but my

Max woke up this morning and insisted that someone was going to walk with him today. I told Josh when I came to wake him up (as parents of young children we often don't end up in the same room all night, you know how it is) that we should do that since we didn't walk yesterday. Josh insisted that of course we walked yesterday, we went for a drive and found that park, and I said, no, honey, that was the day before. What did we do yesterday? he asked me. Well, James and I went to the pet store and the fruit stand and you and Max built with Duplo. But I get it. Days are a construct at this point. I spent a lot of yesterday missing the library, if I'm honest. I finished A Kind of Paradise, which is the book about the girl forced to volunteer in the library (can you tell that I feel overwhelmed by reality and read as much as possible?) and it had me thinking a lot about library life. I wanted to create an Instagram post about that and other books using some of the library &quo

Daddy had no appointments today. No interviews, no recruiters, no doctor, no nothing. So we decided to...go somewhere! The kids wanted to go back to the beach like yesterday and I thought, why not? So we finally in the middle of the day got everyone including dog loaded and headed that way. It's a 20 minute drive. We got there and...Max was asleep. At the actual right time of the day when I would in theory like his nap to be. So we decided to keep driving for awhile and then get out. And we got lost. Multiple times. Including one detour where we drove on an overpass over the freeway on a main street that...dead ends into a new housing development. It was bizarre. An hour after this drive started Max woke up and we found a random park where we were. It wasn't a bad park. But in the divide and conquer of children I got Grumpy Toddler who was NOT PLEASED. He didn't like that he had to walk on gravel (Max is a little OCD about what touches his shoes,) he was VERY UPSE

I was thinking today as we stood on the beach and both of my kids chucked rocks in the water about a playlist my now husband made for me in 2008 when we were dating and I took off for 7 days in Wales and 3 days in London. And then I started thinking about all the adventures I'm glad I took. I'm glad I once got on a Greyhound bus and took a job in Iowa when I was 20 years old. I'm glad that at 23 when my friend and I took off to run a summer camp in New Hampshire we decided to drive there. And then that I got to spend a day off in Hanover, New Hampshire, which remains to this day one of my favorite day trips. I'm glad I once filled a backpack and went to New Zealand for 6 months, which is how long it took for me to run out of jobs and money. I lived in the Girl Guide Hall that someone had spray painted on "The Girl Guides of Picton Has Been Infiltrated." I'm glad my husband and I took a honeymoon road trip driving Highway 2 and half of Route 66. I

But it's been so long and I miss doing it, so I want to do an update even if it is a quick one. Max's sleep has been really rough which is why it's been so long. I don't know what his deal is but he is back to not wanting to sleep alone, ever, after spending the first 2 months in quarantine being a kid that you could actually put to bed for the first time in his short life. So sleep and spare time have both been in short supply which makes Mama cranky. And since he is finally in bed I should be as well. We had an almost normal day on Saturday...we visited with a couple of friends, James even had a friend to actually play with that we deemed a safe situation. It had been so dang long and with him entertained Mama got to sit....in the company of adults...and work on a puzzle. It was bizarre. But in a good way. And then a friend had some struggles...her kid, my kid's age, developed a medical problem that landed him the ER. No one suspects COVID, but in these times

I miss spending one on one time with the kids. I also miss having a place to actually go. Early this year, I stole James and took him out for breakfast...M&M pancakes. Now, remember, the kid would wake up at 7:30 and didn't have to be at school until 9:30 so it wasn't hard to do. We let Max sleep with Daddy and went and got breakfast. It had been ages since we'd been out just the two of us. It was fun and I wanted to try to do it once a month. Then we got quarantined. We've been out for the occasional drive just the two of us or to pick up library books and stuff like that, but today we actually went to the bookstore and the drug store. I haven't taken James to places like that too much, tried to keep the kids home and outside as much as possible, but he needs to practice being in the world and he needs to practice wearing his mask so now that the book store is open again it made sense. The first thing we did this morning was open a letter I found last nig

Nothing much going on this week, trying to stay afloat. This is the first full week that Josh has been home but he stays busy mostly in the mornings with calls with recruiters, etc. He's still stressed but appears to be in some demand. I'm hoping he'll get a job he'll actually like, that's my top wish. We've been trying as much as we can to stay out of his way while he does what he needs to do to prep and network. He does have lots of time to spend with the kids especially in the afternoons including some one on one time with James that both of them have enjoyed. As for the rest of us, we're in something of a holding pattern this week. I think today is the first day that the kids are fully recovered from the weekend and back on their regular (or in Max's case irregular) sleep schedules. Both of them have been very grumpy in the past few days. We've been trying to follow Max's advice and walk as much as possible. Ask Max what we wants and you ar

A fine 4th of July was had by all. Hard to feel patriotic this year. Watching the West Wing helped. No Hamilton for me although the rest of the planet seemed to be watching it. We don't have Disney Plus here. My streaming surrender to the quarantine was to get Hulu. My sister will be in town in about 3 weeks and said we could watch it then using her account. I can't really get excited about it although I feel like I should at least try it...political history musical theater with allusions to the West Wing SOUNDS like something I should like. Anyway, the day was nice. Grandpa was here and successfully socially distanced from everyone except Max which is a battle I decided not to fight. We ate a lot of food including the barbecued brats I was craving which were what I wanted them to be and the Pioneer Woman's potato salad I really wanted which was not. I made homemade chocolate chip cookies most of which were not eaten by the dog. She hasn't been eating her food lately,

Yesterday was Josh's first day of the rest of his life, so to speak. It went okay. He had some phone conversations with recruiters and then we went for a nice walk in the forest and I made my musgo scramble for dinner (anything that must go musgo in the scramble and be cooked with eggs.) I actually got Max to sleep by 10:20 p.m. which is better than the rest of the week. Today I must have been super cranky because he said to me at 10:30 a.m., you know, if you want to get out of the house for awhile, just let me know. So I got to do the grocery run. For July 3 at the grocery store it wasn't bad. I mean, I used to live on an island, where (in ordinary times) July 3 at the grocery store was like the day before Thanksgiving anywhere else, so compared to that this was just your average busy day at the grocery store and it wasn't even that busy honestly. I bought a lot of food, almost like I was pretending that the holiday weekend is somewhat normal and there will be people t

Three big transitions are happening right now: 1) My husband's last day at his job was today. He's employable, his job search is ongoing, but this was his dream job and it's not replaceable. He's grieving. 2) My BFF is having her 15 year old cat who has been through life with her put down tomorrow. She's grieving. 3) Our neighbor who James has played with through the fence for 2+ years now has moved. Not far, but when you're 6 the difference between your backyard and and one mile away is really long. A new family with 6 kids is expected to move in but no one is sure when or what that will look like for James. He's...confused...excited, sad, all the feelings. I am not always great at other people's grief. I don't think Max is either. He's hyped up and not sleeping well at all. I think he's feeling things are different and isn't quite sure what to do with it. Honestly, that's kinda where it feels like the world is right now. E