Day #149: Pandemic House Guests

You have to hide sometimes for fear of being judged. So I've really been off social media since they got here.

I do understand it. Some people aren't taking this seriously and it's frustrating because it affects all of us. But when people pass judgement on who you spend time with or what is going on in your life without knowing your family, your reality, your situation, it gets really old. Sometimes you know all the risks and you intentionally and with a lot of thought take them.

My dad turned 80 in March. That was a big deal. We very nearly lost him three years ago and I'm not sure he expected to be 80. We planned a birthday party for him. My sister and her family were flying in from out of state. And then...COVID hit.

His birthday party technically would have been allowed as it was on March 14, but no one thought it was a good idea. So we canceled it. And that was hard. We'll do something in the summer, we told everyone. No one thought we'd still be locked down in the summer. Not like this anyway.

Well, no birthday party has happened but this week my sister and her family drove up from Colorado to see him. And there have been disagreements about this. My nephew, who is 15 and risk averse has been open about the fact that he doesn't think it's a good idea. And I understand these feelings, but it came down to this. He's 80. None of us know how long we get with him. It could be five years. It could be five days. He's made his peace with that. He doesn't have a death wish but he knows his time left is limited. And if they don't come now it's unlikely they'd be able to come until next summer. Given the circumstances, they weren't willing to wait that long.

So they did what they could. Drove. Minimized contact. Brought their own food. Wore the masks. They were offered a friend's house near where he lives for the first part of their trip and then yesterday moved in with us. They leave Sunday morning.

It's been nice, honestly. The kids have had their moments for sure...my younger nephew is on the spectrum and my kids are young. They need to burn off energy and that's been hard. Grandpa has limited mobility and can't really go on walks, and walks are really the only thing you can do right now. So we've been spending our time mostly hanging out in either his yard or mine. It hasn't been bad. The kids have overall done well. And it's been such a lift for him to see them. I know how much his mental health has suffered in all of this. I can tell it gets to him. This is the happiest I've seen him in months.

All the usual family dynamics are in play. You love them, but family dynamics happen. I think everyone's been glad to see everyone but everyone (with the possible exception of James) will be ready when it's time to go back to normal. My nephews are much older than my kids...they are 15 and almost 14 and my kids are 6 and almost 2, so that's a gap. My 15-year-old nephew in particular has been very patient with them.

Life goes on. It has to. I think at this point I'm just trying to embrace as much normal as we are allowed to have.

The job search goes on for Josh. And for me. I've been looking, too. Honestly, this whole thing has made me kind of want to get back into work, to embrace my career again. But job options for me area always limited, even in the best of times, and this ain't that. Josh has had a frustrating week in the job search world. It gets to him. He's not a born optimist, that one. But we got to have a little mini date night yesterday, the advantage of having family here. We left the kids with them and went and ate street tacos and pie a la mode and walked and talked. We will celebrate 10 years of marriage this week...it is not the 10 year anniversary date one could have dreamed of but we are together and that means a lot. So we just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Media consumption: I read The Hate U Give and is just as great as everyone says. I finished reading Whereas: poems and it wasn't an easy read but it was a good one. I read Where Stars are Scattered, a graphic novel for kids about Somali refugees and it was wonderful. My sister and I are supposed to be watching Hamilton tonight but we are having issues with our respective children sleeping so I guess that's probably not going to be a thing. I'm okay with it.

Today I'm grateful for my family, that everyone has been healthy and safe, that the basement stays cool, that Max likes hugs, that pizza and root beer are a thing, books, good weather, iced tea, and water to wade in.