Day #62: The Things we Take Away
My sister spent all day worried about Dad because she hadn't talk to him since Sunday. At 4 p.m., she sent a group text to a few neighbors. They all had seen him today, talked to him yesterday, and kept asking don't we text him? So communication is a good family strong point. He called her around 5:30 and was surprised to learn she already knew he mowed the lawn today.
Today was freaking gorgeous. It's not supposed to be as nice tomorrow, so I'm glad we went into the forest. The closed signs are still up, we almost turned around and bailed on the whole adventure, but talking (from a safe distance) with a few other people we were all under the impression DNR sites reopened today, so we went in and enjoyed ourselves. Well, most of us did. After 5 weeks of complaining about the forest being closed, James has now decided he's scared of it. He spent all last August terrified of outside after he got stung putting a stick down a hole that turned out to be a hornets' nest. It was like pulling teeth to get him to go outside at all. It's now May and he whined the WHOLE time we walked through the forest. Seriously over it, dude. And he does not know about the murder hornets. Please for the love of God no one tell him about the murder hornets.
Still, watching Max revel at stumps and flowers, with his grubby hands filled with every forest souvenir he could carry, watching James jump over mountain bike hills, stopping at the little seesaw and little free library...it was worth every bit of the whining. If it gets nice later this week again I plan to picnic in there despite the fact that I will hear from James 18 times every 10 minutes that anything sweet will attract bees.
The video of him rocking Max on the seesaw is still wondrous. And I cannot tell you the boost I got standing there in the woods with the tall trees around just inhaling all that fresh air with the blue sky above. It was wondrous. I hope I never take a walk in the woods for granted again.
I told James today that I'm proud of him...this is hard and emotions are normal but I'm proud that he is helping take care of his brother, creatively playing and inventing things, hanging out in the backyard talking to our neighbor Emma, and generally having a good quarantine. And then after we had this conversation we came home and I let him watch TV for 3 solid hours. So...balance.
Talked to my dad about a little family history when we finally did talk. I've dusted off my genealogy since I've been moved back into my office...being in here wants me to write more and research more. I've been looking into his mother's family and their journey to and through the Spanish flu and beyond and since my dad had close relationships with people who are long gone, not just his mom but her grandparents, who were still a big part of her life when my dad was a kid and teenager, I wanted to hear his version. It's so interesting to me what he knows or remembers and what he doesn't. He did say he heard most of the stories later, when he was a teenager and beyond, when they thought he was old enough. And they told him more than his siblings, thought he could take more. His mother and her siblings had a very tough childhood. Their grandmother always believed their father abandoned them after their mother died and whether that is true or not and whatever he might have done or not done in later years to correct his actions, she never forgave him for that. Some wounds don't heal well. Some wounds carry baggage for a long long time. By the time my dad was born, his father's mother had been gone 22 years...for there to still be baggage in his childhood and teenage years is a lot of baggage. The generation that lived through that flu I don't think ever got to deal with their collective trauma...especially since they weren't done. The '20s may have roared, but the Depression was just 10 years away and there was a world war beyond that. They never got much recovery time and the trauma of the epidemic got buried in history books between two world wars and a Depression. I wonder about our trauma. God only knows what history is ahead of us, but in fifty years will I open my desk drawer and find an old mask and have it all come flooding back? No way to know. One of my favorite Easy artists is selling prints of drawings of literary heroines in masks, as odd souvenirs of this time. I kinda want one but don't know where I'd put it.
I didn't see a lot of masks in the woods, nor did we wear them. Josh did the grocery shopping for us today and wore one. I have to start figuring the mask thing out. The ones we were gifted are nice but the strings frayed and had to be clipped so none of them fit great right now and one is missing. Also, it's hard to wear one when walking around or doing any kind of physical exercise because the glasses fog and I can't see. I can survive a grocery run with one but as more things open they are going to be more and more necessary. People did GREAT with their social distancing in the woods today. I think most people are excited by the tiny signs of opening and don't want to wreck it. I hope this remains true as we move into Mother's Day weekend, which is supposed to be gorgeous.
Today's media consumption: I didn't read a lot. More Flora & Ulysses. It's so funny. I kinda wish the funny was suiting my mood better because it's such a cute book. I keep thinking it will pick me up but it doesn't so much. I am loving my Anne of Avonlea audiobook which is almost through. Something about the people who lived through that time with all its hardships is reassuring. Haven't watched much TV, I think I will tonight. Sounds about right for tonight.
Today I'm thankful for trees, seesaws, Instagram, my dad, memories, snuggles, TV, yummy takeout lunch, my husband, my office space, my kids. And everyone's continued health.
Today was freaking gorgeous. It's not supposed to be as nice tomorrow, so I'm glad we went into the forest. The closed signs are still up, we almost turned around and bailed on the whole adventure, but talking (from a safe distance) with a few other people we were all under the impression DNR sites reopened today, so we went in and enjoyed ourselves. Well, most of us did. After 5 weeks of complaining about the forest being closed, James has now decided he's scared of it. He spent all last August terrified of outside after he got stung putting a stick down a hole that turned out to be a hornets' nest. It was like pulling teeth to get him to go outside at all. It's now May and he whined the WHOLE time we walked through the forest. Seriously over it, dude. And he does not know about the murder hornets. Please for the love of God no one tell him about the murder hornets.
Still, watching Max revel at stumps and flowers, with his grubby hands filled with every forest souvenir he could carry, watching James jump over mountain bike hills, stopping at the little seesaw and little free library...it was worth every bit of the whining. If it gets nice later this week again I plan to picnic in there despite the fact that I will hear from James 18 times every 10 minutes that anything sweet will attract bees.
The video of him rocking Max on the seesaw is still wondrous. And I cannot tell you the boost I got standing there in the woods with the tall trees around just inhaling all that fresh air with the blue sky above. It was wondrous. I hope I never take a walk in the woods for granted again.
I told James today that I'm proud of him...this is hard and emotions are normal but I'm proud that he is helping take care of his brother, creatively playing and inventing things, hanging out in the backyard talking to our neighbor Emma, and generally having a good quarantine. And then after we had this conversation we came home and I let him watch TV for 3 solid hours. So...balance.
Talked to my dad about a little family history when we finally did talk. I've dusted off my genealogy since I've been moved back into my office...being in here wants me to write more and research more. I've been looking into his mother's family and their journey to and through the Spanish flu and beyond and since my dad had close relationships with people who are long gone, not just his mom but her grandparents, who were still a big part of her life when my dad was a kid and teenager, I wanted to hear his version. It's so interesting to me what he knows or remembers and what he doesn't. He did say he heard most of the stories later, when he was a teenager and beyond, when they thought he was old enough. And they told him more than his siblings, thought he could take more. His mother and her siblings had a very tough childhood. Their grandmother always believed their father abandoned them after their mother died and whether that is true or not and whatever he might have done or not done in later years to correct his actions, she never forgave him for that. Some wounds don't heal well. Some wounds carry baggage for a long long time. By the time my dad was born, his father's mother had been gone 22 years...for there to still be baggage in his childhood and teenage years is a lot of baggage. The generation that lived through that flu I don't think ever got to deal with their collective trauma...especially since they weren't done. The '20s may have roared, but the Depression was just 10 years away and there was a world war beyond that. They never got much recovery time and the trauma of the epidemic got buried in history books between two world wars and a Depression. I wonder about our trauma. God only knows what history is ahead of us, but in fifty years will I open my desk drawer and find an old mask and have it all come flooding back? No way to know. One of my favorite Easy artists is selling prints of drawings of literary heroines in masks, as odd souvenirs of this time. I kinda want one but don't know where I'd put it.
I didn't see a lot of masks in the woods, nor did we wear them. Josh did the grocery shopping for us today and wore one. I have to start figuring the mask thing out. The ones we were gifted are nice but the strings frayed and had to be clipped so none of them fit great right now and one is missing. Also, it's hard to wear one when walking around or doing any kind of physical exercise because the glasses fog and I can't see. I can survive a grocery run with one but as more things open they are going to be more and more necessary. People did GREAT with their social distancing in the woods today. I think most people are excited by the tiny signs of opening and don't want to wreck it. I hope this remains true as we move into Mother's Day weekend, which is supposed to be gorgeous.
Today's media consumption: I didn't read a lot. More Flora & Ulysses. It's so funny. I kinda wish the funny was suiting my mood better because it's such a cute book. I keep thinking it will pick me up but it doesn't so much. I am loving my Anne of Avonlea audiobook which is almost through. Something about the people who lived through that time with all its hardships is reassuring. Haven't watched much TV, I think I will tonight. Sounds about right for tonight.
Today I'm thankful for trees, seesaws, Instagram, my dad, memories, snuggles, TV, yummy takeout lunch, my husband, my office space, my kids. And everyone's continued health.
Comments
Post a Comment