Blogging Because I Don't Know What to Do With Myself

I know it is weird to think that I have moments where I don't know what to do with myself. Because there's ALWAYS something to do. There's always dishes. There's always laundry. My kids want me to go outside and play with them. And the kids' bathroom could REALLY use some attention.

But I'm writing because I don't know quite what else to do with myself. I feel like I should be reading. Or something. But I've kinda been sitting helplessly looking at the computer and doing nothing for a good 20 minutes so I opened a blog post to see if writing could settle me a bit. It sometimes works. 

It's Father's Day weekend and also the first federally recognized holiday of Juneteenth. Like a lot of people, I don't have a history with Juneteenth. I like the idea of people getting a recognized holiday to celebrate, but there's a flip side to it. The timing is terrible. To have a holiday in the third week in June here screws with our school calendar in major ways, the overlap with Father's Day is a challenge, it's just awkward. I'm not old enough to remember the last time a federal holiday was added to the calendar so I'm sure that after awhile we will get used to the timing of it and adjust ourselves. It feels to me like making a holiday federal just invites cheap commercialization of it and a lot of white people jumping on board to a celebration that isn't really for them, but I'm not of the community and don't really feel like it's my place to say anything. Like a lot of white people, I didn't really have any knowledge or understanding of this celebration until very recently, so I'm trying to be a listener and an observer and not insert myself into it.

As for Father's Day, it is about as expected. Family road trip to Josh's favorite antique store/park location yesterday to celebrate him and then dad not feeling up to us celebrating him on actual Father's Day, which is today. We will get down there and celebrate him sometime this week. It's easier when school is out.

The last day of school was on Friday, and I was hit with more end of school emotions than I was expecting this year. I think it goes back to it being the first real ordinary school year of James's life, but I feel myself missing this year and this teacher already. I'm very proud of James. A lot has been going on and he has done well. We celebrated with root beer floats, as has become our tradition. And now we head into a summer with a lot going on, but not so much in the early weeks, and the weather has still been quite crummy overall. So we slide into summer.

Media consumption. This morning for Juneteenth I read two young adult poems illustrated in books. The first was Ain't Burned All the Bright by Jason Reynolds, which was amazing. If the emotions of 2020 were ever captured into a book, that's the one. Then I read the illustrated poem Inheritance by Elizabeth Acevedo which was also quite good. It's all about Black women's hair and how controlling hair has been used as a device to control women. Other things I'm currently reading: The Bookshop of Dust and Dreams, which is about a magical bookshop that is located in 1944 but has time traveling properties, and Station Life in New Zealand, which is reprinted letters from the 1860s written by an English woman who went to live in New Zealand. It's been a good reading month. And I'm still rewatching Grace and Frankie and relistening to The West Wing Weekly. Don't ask. I need to be soothed.

Today I'm grateful for the dads in my life, family time, Bellingham, books, friends, small moments of peace and quiet, and no calorie water flavoring.