Day #209: My Turn to be Unemployed

 I haven't worked since March 6 so it probably should not have been a grand surprise when my boss called me today and told me that my program has officially been cancelled and I no longer work for the library as of Thursday.

I'm not sure why they felt the need to do this...they certainly weren't paying me. I know there is a cost to keeping people on the payroll but it's small. I sense that the decision was less about us substitute librarians and more about our bosses getting the message from their bosses that they no longer would have the option of us and will have to figure out how to work with the staff they have. It's all theoretical at this point...they certainly haven't needed us while they are closed so this is all about speculating what the next steps look like. What it does mean is at least for the current year and beyond I don't work for them...she is checking to see if at some point if they reinstate the program we would have to reapply or we can get our old jobs back. 

It's not fun to be laid off...even though I wasn't making any money or working and so it doesn't really impact my life in any kind of meaningful way, there's a bit of my identity tied up in having the job. I probably will continue to call myself a librarian...I have 16 years of experience in public libraries and a degree in library science...but I will feel like a cheater doing it. I think what I have learned in these past six months is I do like being a librarian and I would like to get back to doing it on a more regular basis.

In other news, there's a Presidential debate going on. I'm not watching it...I know how I'm casting my ballot and I'm not interested in the political theater. I am starting to think about how to protect myself and my sanity during the coming months. Being off facebook over the election and off all social media on election night, obviously. Maybe we need to have a big movie night on election night. I'm also thinking carefully about what I'm reading...not just in terms of what I am or am not consuming in terms of news but also more generally what I'm consuming in literature. Naomi Shihab Nye has a new poetry collection that is about, among other things, the environment. I LOVE her, she's one of my absolute favorite poets, but I have that book checked out from the library right now sitting on my shelf collecting dust. Now may not be the time. 

In terms of actual media consumption: I finished Frasier. It was a nice rewatch. I started in on The Wonder Years and it's a beautiful show but I think it's too emotional for me right now. The combination of living through history while watching it is too much...I can read it but can't watch it. So I'm looking for something new to binge. I read Summer at Meadow Wood and it was nice to be at camp in my head for a few days. Then I read Women Rise Up: Sacred Stories for Today's Revolution and it was great....there are NOT enough faith based arguments for women's autonomy. The author is the CEO for the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice, which is one of my favorite charities. I'm now reading a cozy mystery called Spell Booked which is about witches...it's kinda meh but got better today. My streak of reading 100 pages or more per day since September 11 is alive and well if I read another 6 pages tonight, so that might give you a hint as to where my actual life is since I'm spending a lot of it in a book.

Tomorrow is Wednesday, which if the streak holds means not a very long school day. I'm thinking it's a good day to walk on the beach or get lost in the woods with the kids. Maybe both.

Today I'm grateful that I can turn Presidential debates off, for my boss's kind words when she called me, for a nap with Max, that I am old enough to ignore online drama, that we survived first grade writing with less yelling than last week even though it was not at all fun, and that we are here and surviving still.