Kris's Covid Pandemic Blog

 I haven't worked since March 6 so it probably should not have been a grand surprise when my boss called me today and told me that my program has officially been cancelled and I no longer work for the library as of Thursday. I'm not sure why they felt the need to do this...they certainly weren't paying me. I know there is a cost to keeping people on the payroll but it's small. I sense that the decision was less about us substitute librarians and more about our bosses getting the message from their bosses that they no longer would have the option of us and will have to figure out how to work with the staff they have. It's all theoretical at this point...they certainly haven't needed us while they are closed so this is all about speculating what the next steps look like. What it does mean is at least for the current year and beyond I don't work for them...she is checking to see if at some point if they reinstate the program we would have to reapply or we can g...

 I cannot believe it is only Tuesday. I cannot believe such a thing is possible. This is the first week of the "normal" school schedule. The past couple of weeks were lighter because of parent teacher conferences. I'm exhausted. This is what the schedule looks like: log into Zoom at 9:10, done by 9:30. Log in for small group at 10, and must be exactly at 10 even if mama is up to her elbows in a dirty diaper because the 10:00 Zoom is for small group and that is only 20 minutes long. Then off Zoom until 1. There is independent work. Independent work is nothing to sneer at. Login to Zoom again at 1, the 1:00 meeting is very short usually which is incredibly annoying because it is a) naptime and b) there's another Zoom at 1:45 so the off and on is no fun. The 1:45 is a specialist slot which means it only happens on Mondays and Tuesdays. I think. Of course the independent work is accessed through the Seesaw app which is another thing. And there's an assessment going on...

The morning David Bowie died, I woke Josh up to tell him David Bowie died. It wasn't meant to be a mean thing, I just wanted him to hear it from me.  He was so upset. He wanted time to be awake before that news hit him. He asked me not to do it again, especially after a similar dynamic happened when Alan Rickman died. This afternoon I was sitting in Max's room and he stood outside the door and said I don't want to David Bowie you but maybe don't go on social media. And I knew. I said I want to hear it from you but I knew. I hate the fact that it feels like the weight of defending our civil rights and moral standings fell on a single person's shoulders, and the shoulders of an 87-year-old woman with pancreatic cancer at that. No one was stronger but that's not fair and that's not the way a system should work. I feel angry, I feel sad, I feel exhausted. I was already stressed about this shitshow of an election and already afraid the stupid clown in the White H...

 Socked in with smoke 2 days in a row. Kids climbing the walls. Ended up going for a drive just to get out, drove Highway 2 towards the mountains (not that far.) Josh was reminiscing about early times he took that drive, before me, when he was new to Washington. I was thinking of what I was doing in those years. For I think the first time, I feel REALLY disconnected from the person who had those adventures. One adventure leads to another. In 1999, when I was 20 and tired of school I decided to take a break so I took a 4 month seasonal job in Iowa. EVERYONE thought I was insane. Out of a desire to travel cheap and see the world I was living in, I took a Greyhound bus to get there. Several, in fact, on a Greyhound bus trip from Seattle, WA to Cedar Rapids, IA. I turned 21 in Iowa. Had adventures. Saw the Field of Dreams (there were 2, in those days, the land was divided between 2 family's property's and they HATED each other, so there were 2 gift shops, etc. The first time I ever...

 Of all the things that should irritate me today, probably the fact that Facebook won't allow me to change the error in today's post from Day #191 (incorrect) to Day #190 (correct) probably shouldn't be the biggest but there you are. Somehow, 80 years ago or so when I started counting days, it seemed like a good idea, now it's just not something I can figure out how to stop. It's been quite the almost week since we last spoke, so let's try to run it down for you. When I was last on here I was trying to draft a presentation for a job interview that could be conducted on Zoom. It was going well and Josh said he liked it but I should probably practice on someone else who could give better advice. It was a holiday weekend, though, so I hated to ask someone. Enter my wonderful BFF Sarah who was working on Monday (from home) but happily jumped on Zoom to spend a half hour listening to me and giving some great feedback that helped a bunch. Then off to enjoy Labor Day, ...

 First day of a three day weekend, kind of a blah day. Off to a late start. We need to get Daddy on a work type schedule. Spent a good chunk of the afternoon preparing for Tuesday's interview, which meant making a powerpoint (I tried to avoid it, it was inevitable) and trying to figure out how to "present" my portion of the interview on Zoom. It really does make one think about whether you actually want this job you would have to start in the midst of a pandemic. And make me feel sorry for my husband. Trying to gear up for the rest of the weekend spent having fun and barbecuing food with family. It's hard. I love my family but I don't feel up to much after this week.  Then facebook memories reminded me of years of working as a hospital volunteer. That was rough. I don't know when we'll ever get that back. So today was not a great or uplifting day. I did read, though...I started a new book called The Lotterys Plus One, which is, well, it's trying too ha...

 I refuse to call it the end of summer. I just keep saying, it's still summer, now we will add school. But the last couple of weeks were a whirlwind...including a 16 hour day in which we drove for 9 hours to eastern WA and back. But today was a big milestone all its own...the first day of school. I have been trying not to approach this with dread. I have been trying to stay upbeat. I have been trying to give the new online school version a fair shake. I have been trying so hard. You know what's weird, though? It's like...everyone talks like spring never happened. Look at this new paradigm! Look at these kids doing something completely different! Look at teachers reinventing their jobs! (Feel for the teachers, man, but really, who isn't?) And I'm like...did I hallucinate April? Because I feel like we've been through this before... I do get it. We are trying to move forward and try something new and hopefully less disastrous and more sustainable. But I feel like t...