Day #158: What I Always Want to Remember About Max's Pandemic Birthday

 I'm exhausted...too much sugar, too much everything, so I plan on this being short.

Max's birthday was so fun. A social distanced baby class reunion, then Grandpa came up to see him (he adores Grandpa,) then he napped for like 3 hours (which is why he's still awake, Daddy has him now,) he got bookish presents including bath toys for the bath he so desperately needed (mama knows her stuff,) and he loves cookies so instead of a cake I made a giant cookie for dessert (it is for real huge.) But all of that is not the thing I want to most remember.

The thing I want to most remember about today was a moment when Josh was finishing up making dinner and I was outside with the kids. James has been happy today but also a bit of a jealous monster, you know, this will happen, but in that moment when he didn't think I was watching he leaned over and said very quietly to his brother, "Max, happy birthday, buddy."

Jealousy happens but that little moment of love between my boys is EVERYTHING.

Birthdays can be hard for moms. James's are always a little triggering because his birth was on the traumatic side and a birthday of any kid is a reminder of what they are missing right now. But honestly, today was all joy. Exhausting, but joy. I love my little bean. He's such a blessing to us. I'm glad he's ours.

Media consumption: I'm giving myself permission not to read today. Just West Wing Episodes and the West Wing weekly.

Today I'm grateful for my boys, 2 years of healthy happy Max, Max's laugh, bookish presents, Grandpa, seeing friends I hadn't seen in TOO LONG, masks and all, and love.

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