Day #97: Reflecting on My Interactions with Police
The less said about today the better. Everybody is alive and got fed. Mama was being snappy. James was being whiny. Mama wished she had parented better. And at one point Max was running around the house with a bottle of baby Motrin. Some days are not winners. Let's just put today to bed. Like my children. Who might in theory be asleep now. At 10 p.m. Anything is possible.
I spent some time reflecting on my interactions with police as a white woman and also as a librarian (which is the place where I tend to see them most, which in and of itself says something about my life and privilege.) When people talk about defunding the police, what does that look like to me in my world?
Now, let's be super clear. Only the most radical people (and they are entitled to their opinions) want to completely eliminate police departments as they are now and recreate public safety. To most people who are advocating this, defunding the police means fewer resources to armed cops on the streets and more resources to people who work in some kind of community safety role serving as social workers, mental health workers, etc. But part of the issues is there isn't a lot of agreement as to what that looks like and to police departments (and unions) across the country, this feels like a "take away resources we need when we are already underfunded."
So I'm not an expert on this, but here's what I am: I'm a government worker. I've spent a good chunk of my career in the public sector, including many years on a city payroll. I actually really like being part of a city library, as opposed to a county system, but being part of a city department means you are a line item right alongside police, fire, parks and rec, senior center, etc. etc.
I don't know of any government agencies that feel fully funded. Some do better than others FOR SURE but those that struggle the most are those who have to compete with other departments for funding....this varies from place to place, but if you are a school district you can go to your voters and ask for money directly. If you are a department in someone's city or county, the tax dollars are what they are and you get your chunk of them.
Are police departments underfunded? I'm not a cop, but I will say every place I have worked that has police and fire as part of their budget, those are the two departments that get funded first. Are they subject to budget cuts? I'm sure they are, but you don't usually see people advocating to cut police precincts like you do closing library branches or shuttering (or privatizing) rec centers.
Are there other places the money could go to that would help? That's a bigger question, and the answer is I'd love to see that.
I've worked in busy downtown public libraries and they come with their share of problems. I would LOVE to tell you that being a librarian is mostly about reading stories to kids and helping people find books and use computers. And a lot of the job is, that's what I spend 90% of my life doing. But the other 10%...well, we are public buildings open to all (usually...Lord knows when that will be true again.) So like everybody else who works with the public (including police) we get our fair share of social worker type issues that are really outside our job description. And we don't always know how to cope. And we don't always receive adequate training.
What does that usually look like? Well, for sure the unhoused population is heavily dependent on libraries, especially during colder weather. People who live on the street or in shelters need a warm place to be during the day. Which is completely fine and part of our mission and most of those people just sit and read or chat. But there are some who have issues. There is drug and alcohol use. There are fights over stuff and misuse of public restroom facilities. You have to wake people up who are sleeping (for a lot of reasons, but number 1 is I need you to be awake so I know you're okay,) and people pee and puke on the floor.
We get people who are mentally ill or impaired or both and again most of the time it's not a big deal. People ask their questions, you do your best to help them, sometimes the questions are odd and people are wearing tin foil hats but no big deal. People are people and most of the time a positive interaction with someone who sincerely cares goes a long way. But there are days. People lose their tempers...they throw things and threaten and do damage and steal.
The worst things I've seen? Well, I've been lucky that it has never been truly life threatening dangerous. I've never seen anyone pull a weapon on me or anyone else in any library I've worked in. I'm sure it happens. Theft is a big one, and also there are dark back corners of libraries where people don't go very often...it's never happened any time I've ever been working but reports of sexual harassment and assault happen in libraries. It's something I think about. We patrol as best we can. We have security.
Most of what we deal with is pretty minor and we handle it ourselves. We ask people to leave for the day. We give warnings. But calls to police happen and they respond quickly. It's usually police protocol to put public buildings like libraries high in the response queue. Sometimes telling someone if they don't leave you need to call the cops makes them take off in a hurry and solves the problem on its own. And sometimes people are escalating and you call 911.
Are there racial implications in play? I've thought about this. At every library I've ever worked at, the staff is predominantly white, especially at the higher levels, aka the people who make the decisions. Despite good efforts to diversify the profession, we are overwhelmingly white and female, and as we all have seen the issue of white women calling the cops on particularly black men is concerning. I've worked in suburban libraries in very white communities but in most places I've been the demographics of the staff do not match the demographics of the communities we serve.
Would I like to have another option...someone else to call who is not an armed and uniformed police officer but who does have the training in social work and mental health that I don't have and could de-escalate and diffuse situations? Honestly, again, this speaks to my privilege but that's something I've never thought about until this week. I like the idea in theory but I also know things change fast in these situations and I'm not sure I have the ability to discern who would need to be dispatched. If I had a central 911 type number that I could call and a trained dispatcher could know who to send, that would be nice, but by the time I'm calling the police I'm scared that this is an escalating and uncertain situation. I wouldn't make that call if I didn't think so. Now, I know that's not true of everyone and I'm not going to claim I'm free of bias. I'm sure what sometimes feels like an escalating and uncertain situation to me doesn't always appear that way to other people and I think we all need to start practicing saying out loud that we view people through our own lenses. Do I think I'm more likely to call on a black man than a white woman? I don't think that, but I don't honestly know. I don't think any of us honestly know. We're not trying to profile anyone, we are all doing hard work to try to break down our own biases, but they exist. We've seen that. Am I going to try to be more aware of them and really try to focus on behaviors I'm seeing and check myself on assumptions? Sure. Am I imperfect, especially in stressful situations? You bet.
What do I make of this conversation, then? I have no idea. Obviously, policing in America isn't working as is. The evidence on this is clear and it is damning. Do I think solutions exist? I know there are cops and ex cops who have suggested plans to help. I know some things that have been tried don't work. But I don't like the "bad apple cop" theory. That's not okay. People are dying and there needs to be a solution. Like yesterday.
All I can do is what I'm doing. Read. Reflect. Learn. Listen. Check my own biases. Remind myself that I too am a work in progress and shouldn't let my defensiveness stop me from progressing as a person and doing better. I am going to go listen to The Unconventional Woman podcast, a great show where Summer Martin, a black woman, tells the truth and invites people to have real conversations. This week she interviewed her uncle who is LAPD. I want to hear that for sure. I want to hear what real cops and ex cops, not union reps or people with agendas, have to say. I don't have answers. But I do need to question my profession, too. We clearly need better training and we clearly need to work on having our staff represent our communities. There is work to do.
Am I a fan of Defund the Police campaigns? I'm not not a fan. But I do wonder what the people who are advocating this envision as the next step. I want to hear that more clearly. I want to hear specifics. Reallocating resources sounds awesome, but to who? Do those people even exist? Are there enough of them? Who would they report to? Who dispatches them? I want answers to those questions.
Today's media consumption: thank the good Lord for Hulu and its endless supply of bad TV. Today it was Dharma and Greg. I'm almost done with that book Hillbilly Elegy and I have about half an hour left on my Emily Climbs audiobook at which time I'm going to take an L.M. Montgomery break for a bit before finishing that series.
Today I'm thankful for ice cream sandwiches, my husband, books, audiobooks, that I can learn, that James forgives me and vice versa, that today is over, and that we all remain healthy and here.
I spent some time reflecting on my interactions with police as a white woman and also as a librarian (which is the place where I tend to see them most, which in and of itself says something about my life and privilege.) When people talk about defunding the police, what does that look like to me in my world?
Now, let's be super clear. Only the most radical people (and they are entitled to their opinions) want to completely eliminate police departments as they are now and recreate public safety. To most people who are advocating this, defunding the police means fewer resources to armed cops on the streets and more resources to people who work in some kind of community safety role serving as social workers, mental health workers, etc. But part of the issues is there isn't a lot of agreement as to what that looks like and to police departments (and unions) across the country, this feels like a "take away resources we need when we are already underfunded."
So I'm not an expert on this, but here's what I am: I'm a government worker. I've spent a good chunk of my career in the public sector, including many years on a city payroll. I actually really like being part of a city library, as opposed to a county system, but being part of a city department means you are a line item right alongside police, fire, parks and rec, senior center, etc. etc.
I don't know of any government agencies that feel fully funded. Some do better than others FOR SURE but those that struggle the most are those who have to compete with other departments for funding....this varies from place to place, but if you are a school district you can go to your voters and ask for money directly. If you are a department in someone's city or county, the tax dollars are what they are and you get your chunk of them.
Are police departments underfunded? I'm not a cop, but I will say every place I have worked that has police and fire as part of their budget, those are the two departments that get funded first. Are they subject to budget cuts? I'm sure they are, but you don't usually see people advocating to cut police precincts like you do closing library branches or shuttering (or privatizing) rec centers.
Are there other places the money could go to that would help? That's a bigger question, and the answer is I'd love to see that.
I've worked in busy downtown public libraries and they come with their share of problems. I would LOVE to tell you that being a librarian is mostly about reading stories to kids and helping people find books and use computers. And a lot of the job is, that's what I spend 90% of my life doing. But the other 10%...well, we are public buildings open to all (usually...Lord knows when that will be true again.) So like everybody else who works with the public (including police) we get our fair share of social worker type issues that are really outside our job description. And we don't always know how to cope. And we don't always receive adequate training.
What does that usually look like? Well, for sure the unhoused population is heavily dependent on libraries, especially during colder weather. People who live on the street or in shelters need a warm place to be during the day. Which is completely fine and part of our mission and most of those people just sit and read or chat. But there are some who have issues. There is drug and alcohol use. There are fights over stuff and misuse of public restroom facilities. You have to wake people up who are sleeping (for a lot of reasons, but number 1 is I need you to be awake so I know you're okay,) and people pee and puke on the floor.
We get people who are mentally ill or impaired or both and again most of the time it's not a big deal. People ask their questions, you do your best to help them, sometimes the questions are odd and people are wearing tin foil hats but no big deal. People are people and most of the time a positive interaction with someone who sincerely cares goes a long way. But there are days. People lose their tempers...they throw things and threaten and do damage and steal.
The worst things I've seen? Well, I've been lucky that it has never been truly life threatening dangerous. I've never seen anyone pull a weapon on me or anyone else in any library I've worked in. I'm sure it happens. Theft is a big one, and also there are dark back corners of libraries where people don't go very often...it's never happened any time I've ever been working but reports of sexual harassment and assault happen in libraries. It's something I think about. We patrol as best we can. We have security.
Most of what we deal with is pretty minor and we handle it ourselves. We ask people to leave for the day. We give warnings. But calls to police happen and they respond quickly. It's usually police protocol to put public buildings like libraries high in the response queue. Sometimes telling someone if they don't leave you need to call the cops makes them take off in a hurry and solves the problem on its own. And sometimes people are escalating and you call 911.
Are there racial implications in play? I've thought about this. At every library I've ever worked at, the staff is predominantly white, especially at the higher levels, aka the people who make the decisions. Despite good efforts to diversify the profession, we are overwhelmingly white and female, and as we all have seen the issue of white women calling the cops on particularly black men is concerning. I've worked in suburban libraries in very white communities but in most places I've been the demographics of the staff do not match the demographics of the communities we serve.
Would I like to have another option...someone else to call who is not an armed and uniformed police officer but who does have the training in social work and mental health that I don't have and could de-escalate and diffuse situations? Honestly, again, this speaks to my privilege but that's something I've never thought about until this week. I like the idea in theory but I also know things change fast in these situations and I'm not sure I have the ability to discern who would need to be dispatched. If I had a central 911 type number that I could call and a trained dispatcher could know who to send, that would be nice, but by the time I'm calling the police I'm scared that this is an escalating and uncertain situation. I wouldn't make that call if I didn't think so. Now, I know that's not true of everyone and I'm not going to claim I'm free of bias. I'm sure what sometimes feels like an escalating and uncertain situation to me doesn't always appear that way to other people and I think we all need to start practicing saying out loud that we view people through our own lenses. Do I think I'm more likely to call on a black man than a white woman? I don't think that, but I don't honestly know. I don't think any of us honestly know. We're not trying to profile anyone, we are all doing hard work to try to break down our own biases, but they exist. We've seen that. Am I going to try to be more aware of them and really try to focus on behaviors I'm seeing and check myself on assumptions? Sure. Am I imperfect, especially in stressful situations? You bet.
What do I make of this conversation, then? I have no idea. Obviously, policing in America isn't working as is. The evidence on this is clear and it is damning. Do I think solutions exist? I know there are cops and ex cops who have suggested plans to help. I know some things that have been tried don't work. But I don't like the "bad apple cop" theory. That's not okay. People are dying and there needs to be a solution. Like yesterday.
All I can do is what I'm doing. Read. Reflect. Learn. Listen. Check my own biases. Remind myself that I too am a work in progress and shouldn't let my defensiveness stop me from progressing as a person and doing better. I am going to go listen to The Unconventional Woman podcast, a great show where Summer Martin, a black woman, tells the truth and invites people to have real conversations. This week she interviewed her uncle who is LAPD. I want to hear that for sure. I want to hear what real cops and ex cops, not union reps or people with agendas, have to say. I don't have answers. But I do need to question my profession, too. We clearly need better training and we clearly need to work on having our staff represent our communities. There is work to do.
Am I a fan of Defund the Police campaigns? I'm not not a fan. But I do wonder what the people who are advocating this envision as the next step. I want to hear that more clearly. I want to hear specifics. Reallocating resources sounds awesome, but to who? Do those people even exist? Are there enough of them? Who would they report to? Who dispatches them? I want answers to those questions.
Today's media consumption: thank the good Lord for Hulu and its endless supply of bad TV. Today it was Dharma and Greg. I'm almost done with that book Hillbilly Elegy and I have about half an hour left on my Emily Climbs audiobook at which time I'm going to take an L.M. Montgomery break for a bit before finishing that series.
Today I'm thankful for ice cream sandwiches, my husband, books, audiobooks, that I can learn, that James forgives me and vice versa, that today is over, and that we all remain healthy and here.
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