Day #67: Mother's Day in the Time of Pandemic
My mother died just under 25 years ago on June 22, 1995. I was 16, she was 48. She died suddenly of cardiac arrest. She had not been sick.
My first baby was born just over 6 years ago on April 30, 2014. We had tried for almost exactly 2 years to conceive him and while the doctor never worried about my first trimester spotting I spent weeks afraid I was going to lose him. I did not, but he made a rather abrupt appearance at 33 weeks (my water broke, I spent 24 hours on hospital bed rest, then went into labor,) and spent my first Mother's Day as a NICU mama. I was VERY lucky...he was very stable from the beginning, just small and needed lights for jaundice and a feeding tube so he was hospitalized for a little less than 3 weeks but never in critical or serious condition.
I never know quite what to do with Mother's Day. To finally be celebrating it, after 2 decades of doing my very best to avoid it, is very strange. And I still think of all the people in my life and beyond that find this day a huge struggle. Families are complicated, and stories are hard.
I guess the good news for us is nothing was cancelled because of this. There wasn't anyone we would usually be spending the holiday with. My in-laws live out of state and I've always made a point of seeing my dad *around* Mother's Day but not *on* it. So what we did was quite similar to what we would have often done in times before, only without the opportunity of a road trip.
James chose the menu for my breakfast in bed himself (Cheerios, a bagel, orange juice,) but did not wake me at 6:30 a.m. with it...he followed Daddy's directions and went and got Daddy first. He had written a little something for school about me and gave me a flower he drew. They were all afraid my gift wouldn't arrive on time, but it did...a hammock to replace the one we lost to a tree branch this winter. It's so nice to have a hammock. I have a smaller one I was gifted at Christmas, to be used for camping, but it's nice to have one that fits me and both kids. Looking at facebook today I think a lot of moms got hammocks. What do you get when everyone is stuck at home?
We went for a short drive, but no way was Max going to nap, so instead we had lots of time in the hammock, including some alone time for Mom, always welcome, rides in the classic cars (the whole family in Daddy's 1954 Nash Metropolitan, just James and Daddy in the '67 Camaro,) and sushi. Josh said if he could give me something today he wanted to give me a relaxing day with some time to myself where I didn't have to be constantly "on." Mission accomplished. I even got so deep into my genealogy at one point I lost track of what generation I was in. And I am only two chapters from the end of my book. What I also am is in denial that tomorrow is Monday and I have to teach and wrangle and run after kiddos all day without the benefit of Daddy to help. I ask myself, how different is it than any ordinary Monday where he would go to work and I would stay home with the kids? I don't know. But it is.
I ended the day by dyeing my hair purple. I had it pink about a decade ago before I had children but it didn't last because I used the wrong shampoo. I looked for pink in the drugstore and they didn't have it so purple it was. Hard to know how bright it is actually going to be...right now it is wet and just looks dark and blue. But in times like these it's the doing it that makes the difference.
Today's media consumption: Almost done with Little Fires Everywhere (book.) Pulled out Letdown, my new book of prose poems by a mom that I've mentioned, read it a little. The right mood. No TV today. Too nice.
Today I'm thankful for snuggles with my babies in the hammock, our sweet little car, sushi, being myself, my supportive husband, good health, nice weather, time to myself, and weekends. And lilacs
My first baby was born just over 6 years ago on April 30, 2014. We had tried for almost exactly 2 years to conceive him and while the doctor never worried about my first trimester spotting I spent weeks afraid I was going to lose him. I did not, but he made a rather abrupt appearance at 33 weeks (my water broke, I spent 24 hours on hospital bed rest, then went into labor,) and spent my first Mother's Day as a NICU mama. I was VERY lucky...he was very stable from the beginning, just small and needed lights for jaundice and a feeding tube so he was hospitalized for a little less than 3 weeks but never in critical or serious condition.
I never know quite what to do with Mother's Day. To finally be celebrating it, after 2 decades of doing my very best to avoid it, is very strange. And I still think of all the people in my life and beyond that find this day a huge struggle. Families are complicated, and stories are hard.
I guess the good news for us is nothing was cancelled because of this. There wasn't anyone we would usually be spending the holiday with. My in-laws live out of state and I've always made a point of seeing my dad *around* Mother's Day but not *on* it. So what we did was quite similar to what we would have often done in times before, only without the opportunity of a road trip.
James chose the menu for my breakfast in bed himself (Cheerios, a bagel, orange juice,) but did not wake me at 6:30 a.m. with it...he followed Daddy's directions and went and got Daddy first. He had written a little something for school about me and gave me a flower he drew. They were all afraid my gift wouldn't arrive on time, but it did...a hammock to replace the one we lost to a tree branch this winter. It's so nice to have a hammock. I have a smaller one I was gifted at Christmas, to be used for camping, but it's nice to have one that fits me and both kids. Looking at facebook today I think a lot of moms got hammocks. What do you get when everyone is stuck at home?
We went for a short drive, but no way was Max going to nap, so instead we had lots of time in the hammock, including some alone time for Mom, always welcome, rides in the classic cars (the whole family in Daddy's 1954 Nash Metropolitan, just James and Daddy in the '67 Camaro,) and sushi. Josh said if he could give me something today he wanted to give me a relaxing day with some time to myself where I didn't have to be constantly "on." Mission accomplished. I even got so deep into my genealogy at one point I lost track of what generation I was in. And I am only two chapters from the end of my book. What I also am is in denial that tomorrow is Monday and I have to teach and wrangle and run after kiddos all day without the benefit of Daddy to help. I ask myself, how different is it than any ordinary Monday where he would go to work and I would stay home with the kids? I don't know. But it is.
I ended the day by dyeing my hair purple. I had it pink about a decade ago before I had children but it didn't last because I used the wrong shampoo. I looked for pink in the drugstore and they didn't have it so purple it was. Hard to know how bright it is actually going to be...right now it is wet and just looks dark and blue. But in times like these it's the doing it that makes the difference.
Today's media consumption: Almost done with Little Fires Everywhere (book.) Pulled out Letdown, my new book of prose poems by a mom that I've mentioned, read it a little. The right mood. No TV today. Too nice.
Today I'm thankful for snuggles with my babies in the hammock, our sweet little car, sushi, being myself, my supportive husband, good health, nice weather, time to myself, and weekends. And lilacs
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