Day #57: Happy Birthday, Mr. James
I'm really tired. And I'm sure I've had too much sugar and not enough water so that doesn't help.
James was up at 6:45. Turns out our Hulu free trial includes Sesame Street so that killed some time until Max woke up at 7:30. Make biscuits from a can for a special breakfast. I'm a rock star mom.
It was a tiring day. How come birthdays are exhausting even when you don't do much? Video chatted with family, opened some presents, ate some lunch, didn't make time for Max to nap, that was a mistake, made a lemon cake that for sure is going to be added to my baking repertoire.
What will I remember? Balloons.
Kids are funny little animals. They are amazingly resilient and have built in coping mechanisms but they are also fragile and vulnerable and feel things deeply. All at the same time. And sometimes, when things are rough, like when you don't get to see any friends on your birthday (even our trusty neighbor Emma wasn't in her yard a safe 6 ft away today,) you need something to help...but it can be something small. Like a packet of balloons.
In the last 48 hours, we've done every variation on balloons. We've blown them up. We've drawn on them. We've blown them up to release them and let them fly around. We've stuck them to the ceiling and made them make our hair stand on end. We've blown them small so they fall like baseballs and big so they float. We've played with them outside and inside. We've had them pop on us and make us cry, and we've also tried popping them on purpose. And mom managed to, in the wind, tie them into three balloon clumps and hang them on the fence.
They have, in short, added some specialness to our week. And that's all birthdays are, really. A day with some specialness.
Was it any of our ideal birthdays, with his godmother parked outside the fence eating dinner in her car and talking to us while we played in the yard and no Grandpa here? No. Was it fun? It was. Did he like it? He did. He didn't complain. He like the pizza, the cake, the presents, the balloons. What will he remember? I don't know.
I don't know what's ahead for us. Max's birthday is in August, I hope beyond hope that things are a little closer to normal by then. But I am so grateful. For their smiles. For running around with frosting on their faces and pizza on their shirts. For getting to be little and happy in a world that is very very sad. I love them so much. Max recognized his Auntie Molly and blew her kisses through the fence. He was soooo excited to see another person. It's been months since he's seen her and he's not yet 20 months old. But he recognized her. They are going to be okay. They really are.
Media consumption. I knew I'd be fried tonight and I wanted to finish both my books by the end of the month so I did that this morning. Not a ton of TV but I have swapped out the Mary Tyler Moore Show for The Dick van Dyke show, somehow that was the version of her I needed today.
Today I'm grateful for balloons, my kids, smiles, memories, pictures, 6 years of motherhood, friends, cake, chocolate, cozy Christmas PJs, and buying myself a present. And that we were all here and health to see this beautiful day.
James was up at 6:45. Turns out our Hulu free trial includes Sesame Street so that killed some time until Max woke up at 7:30. Make biscuits from a can for a special breakfast. I'm a rock star mom.
It was a tiring day. How come birthdays are exhausting even when you don't do much? Video chatted with family, opened some presents, ate some lunch, didn't make time for Max to nap, that was a mistake, made a lemon cake that for sure is going to be added to my baking repertoire.
What will I remember? Balloons.
Kids are funny little animals. They are amazingly resilient and have built in coping mechanisms but they are also fragile and vulnerable and feel things deeply. All at the same time. And sometimes, when things are rough, like when you don't get to see any friends on your birthday (even our trusty neighbor Emma wasn't in her yard a safe 6 ft away today,) you need something to help...but it can be something small. Like a packet of balloons.
In the last 48 hours, we've done every variation on balloons. We've blown them up. We've drawn on them. We've blown them up to release them and let them fly around. We've stuck them to the ceiling and made them make our hair stand on end. We've blown them small so they fall like baseballs and big so they float. We've played with them outside and inside. We've had them pop on us and make us cry, and we've also tried popping them on purpose. And mom managed to, in the wind, tie them into three balloon clumps and hang them on the fence.
They have, in short, added some specialness to our week. And that's all birthdays are, really. A day with some specialness.
Was it any of our ideal birthdays, with his godmother parked outside the fence eating dinner in her car and talking to us while we played in the yard and no Grandpa here? No. Was it fun? It was. Did he like it? He did. He didn't complain. He like the pizza, the cake, the presents, the balloons. What will he remember? I don't know.
I don't know what's ahead for us. Max's birthday is in August, I hope beyond hope that things are a little closer to normal by then. But I am so grateful. For their smiles. For running around with frosting on their faces and pizza on their shirts. For getting to be little and happy in a world that is very very sad. I love them so much. Max recognized his Auntie Molly and blew her kisses through the fence. He was soooo excited to see another person. It's been months since he's seen her and he's not yet 20 months old. But he recognized her. They are going to be okay. They really are.
Media consumption. I knew I'd be fried tonight and I wanted to finish both my books by the end of the month so I did that this morning. Not a ton of TV but I have swapped out the Mary Tyler Moore Show for The Dick van Dyke show, somehow that was the version of her I needed today.
Today I'm grateful for balloons, my kids, smiles, memories, pictures, 6 years of motherhood, friends, cake, chocolate, cozy Christmas PJs, and buying myself a present. And that we were all here and health to see this beautiful day.
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