Day #50: The People You Actually Want to Listen To
Got a code today to listen in to the remote version of the new parents class we have volunteered for for...well, James is almost six so about 5 years now. Haven't done that in a couple of weeks. These ladies were infinitely more soothing than remote church will ever be...and I like my church. You have to understand, I have been hearing these wonderful women give the same advice on baby sleep, postpartum mood disorders, feeding babies, and all things new parents week after week for years of my life now and the advice is always basically the same: trust your gut, find your village, trust your baby (in my head I use the word kids now to replace baby, it still tracks,) and this too shall pass. Honestly, it's good parenting advice but also good life advice. I think those are the people you want to listen to in moments like these: the people whose advice for coping in life really hasn't changed all that much. The people who know that grounding is important, your feelings are valid, and this moment is all you've really got to work with so let's do what we can do with it.
I've finished my 72 hour facebook hiatus and am not eager to jump back in there. Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe I'll wait a little longer. I can think of a lot of voices I don't need so much.
My dad is one whose voice does soothe in this time. I had fun watching him and James talk tonight. I'm sorry their relationship is almost all phone based now...it's hard to have phone conversations with James...but honestly growing up my grandpa lived in Montana and was hard of hearing and there was no video chat so we had a phone relationship most of which he couldn't understand and we did okay. I always liked my grandpa. I'm named after my grandma so maybe that cemented our relationship a bit. And I'm not the youngest grandchild but I'm on the younger end...my dad is one of six so there are a lot of cousins and my sister and I are basically the middle. So while grandpa never retired he was in a phase of his life when we were little where he had the time to stop and see us when he liked. Which is kind of where my dad is in life now that my kids are little, plus they don't live super far from him so in ordinary times he sees them about once a month. Plus James is named after his dad. So the connection is there.
James was trying to ask him about living through history, which is something we have talked about and he's starting to get something of a grasp on, and grandpa who loves history told him a little bit about what history is and then told him he has his own history and no one has ever lived a life like his before and no one ever will again which is such a cool thought when you stop to really examine it. James insisted, no, Max has the same kind of life as me. I said, buddy, Max is not going to remember what we are going through right now. You will. This is going to stick in your head. You will remember this time. When grandpa, who is 80, tells you about his earliest memories, he's about your age. Pretty mind blowing. My dad is a very smart guy.
Also, I finally made my mother's English muffin bread today and that is for real DELICIOUS. I've looked at that recipe for years and finally made it. So it's nice to have a little bit from her as well, although she's been gone 25 years almost.
So that was my day. Baking, baby class, talked to grandpa. And Max napped and while he napped I ate the blueberry bread that didn't turn out awesome and watched TV while James played outside. That's not a bad day all things considered. So we did a lot of media because we are pretty burned out: James is still into I Love Lucy, when I watch TV without him it's The Mary Tyler Moore show, which I used to watch on reruns with my mom when I was a kid and she'd tell me in the years before she met my dad how much she related to Rhoda. Now I watch and I think how did those women in the 1970s wear their skirts so short and not have their bums hanging out...I would never be able to manage. Being super skinny probably helps. I'm also all caught up on Mrs. America and Josh and I are still watching Community plus tonight we got caught up on a Seattle Mariners documentary we've been watching on YouTube that is AWESOME...by a group called Dorktown and boy do they make stats fun.
For books, I've been slowly going through The Graveyard Book on audio...I like it but after weeks of plowing through Harry Potter it just is not the same. I'm reading that Before Green Gables book and I got through Anne's parents death today and all I can say is wow, that book was not written by someone who has lived through an epidemic. Which, okay, fair, two months ago I was someone like that but I'm not anymore and I could tell her a lot of things about how that really feels and how you really do react that I would not have known. Reading in this time is weird. I also ordered a drawing of L.M. Montgomery and an Anne of Green Gables mug from one of my favorite Etsy shops because I needed a pick me up. I already have some stuff of hers in my house but not much and I thought, you know what? I'm not going to have a daughter, I need a way to express my Anne love. Also, I think Anne is my next audiobook.
Today I'm grateful for James, Max, my dad, baseball, my husband, my friends, my baby class mentors, blueberries, bread, and whoever invented TV reruns. And good health. And sleep. May there be sleep.
I've finished my 72 hour facebook hiatus and am not eager to jump back in there. Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe I'll wait a little longer. I can think of a lot of voices I don't need so much.
My dad is one whose voice does soothe in this time. I had fun watching him and James talk tonight. I'm sorry their relationship is almost all phone based now...it's hard to have phone conversations with James...but honestly growing up my grandpa lived in Montana and was hard of hearing and there was no video chat so we had a phone relationship most of which he couldn't understand and we did okay. I always liked my grandpa. I'm named after my grandma so maybe that cemented our relationship a bit. And I'm not the youngest grandchild but I'm on the younger end...my dad is one of six so there are a lot of cousins and my sister and I are basically the middle. So while grandpa never retired he was in a phase of his life when we were little where he had the time to stop and see us when he liked. Which is kind of where my dad is in life now that my kids are little, plus they don't live super far from him so in ordinary times he sees them about once a month. Plus James is named after his dad. So the connection is there.
James was trying to ask him about living through history, which is something we have talked about and he's starting to get something of a grasp on, and grandpa who loves history told him a little bit about what history is and then told him he has his own history and no one has ever lived a life like his before and no one ever will again which is such a cool thought when you stop to really examine it. James insisted, no, Max has the same kind of life as me. I said, buddy, Max is not going to remember what we are going through right now. You will. This is going to stick in your head. You will remember this time. When grandpa, who is 80, tells you about his earliest memories, he's about your age. Pretty mind blowing. My dad is a very smart guy.
Also, I finally made my mother's English muffin bread today and that is for real DELICIOUS. I've looked at that recipe for years and finally made it. So it's nice to have a little bit from her as well, although she's been gone 25 years almost.
So that was my day. Baking, baby class, talked to grandpa. And Max napped and while he napped I ate the blueberry bread that didn't turn out awesome and watched TV while James played outside. That's not a bad day all things considered. So we did a lot of media because we are pretty burned out: James is still into I Love Lucy, when I watch TV without him it's The Mary Tyler Moore show, which I used to watch on reruns with my mom when I was a kid and she'd tell me in the years before she met my dad how much she related to Rhoda. Now I watch and I think how did those women in the 1970s wear their skirts so short and not have their bums hanging out...I would never be able to manage. Being super skinny probably helps. I'm also all caught up on Mrs. America and Josh and I are still watching Community plus tonight we got caught up on a Seattle Mariners documentary we've been watching on YouTube that is AWESOME...by a group called Dorktown and boy do they make stats fun.
For books, I've been slowly going through The Graveyard Book on audio...I like it but after weeks of plowing through Harry Potter it just is not the same. I'm reading that Before Green Gables book and I got through Anne's parents death today and all I can say is wow, that book was not written by someone who has lived through an epidemic. Which, okay, fair, two months ago I was someone like that but I'm not anymore and I could tell her a lot of things about how that really feels and how you really do react that I would not have known. Reading in this time is weird. I also ordered a drawing of L.M. Montgomery and an Anne of Green Gables mug from one of my favorite Etsy shops because I needed a pick me up. I already have some stuff of hers in my house but not much and I thought, you know what? I'm not going to have a daughter, I need a way to express my Anne love. Also, I think Anne is my next audiobook.
Today I'm grateful for James, Max, my dad, baseball, my husband, my friends, my baby class mentors, blueberries, bread, and whoever invented TV reruns. And good health. And sleep. May there be sleep.
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