Day #20: Mornings are the Hardest
Things got better after 2 p.m.
James is a morning person in a family full of night owls. Which means he wakes up at 7:45 no one else wants to deal with him. I generally have a plan for what we are going to do with our morning, which generally gets shot down by him before 8:30 while he begs for television. Today my plan was to pitch pop up tents in our living room and read books. James LOVES books and crawling in forts. I thought it was a sure winner. He said nah, he'd rather watch TV.
I'm not against screens but put him on one all day every day and he becomes really difficult to deal with so I've been trying not to do it until the afternoon, but eff it. Tomorrow we are flipping the script and doing Movie Morning. Maybe after waking up and watching a movie he'll be ready to do other things without whining at me constantly about TV. It's worth the experiment.
The best thing we did this morning was our math lesson, where I dumped all the clean socks on the floor and the kids sorted them and James learned to count and multiply by 2. It was fun and we even all have clean socks in our drawers now. Would that that had taken all morning.
By 2 I had a breakdown. I was still in jammies, had almost gotten Max to nap so I could shower but then James woke him up, was trying to get clothes on so I could take them outside and Max was still climbing on me. I went down to where Josh is working and started sobbing incoherently I need help. I think I scared him. I need to get better about not bugging him too much with kid problems while he's working but asking for help before I completely fall apart. Someone wise said today that the tears of exhaustion we are all crying are grief and I think that is why all tears to me lead to ugly crying these days. There's unprocessed stuff there for sure.
I did get dressed, I did get them outside, and it did get better after that. Fresh air is truly amazing. I got to read a little while they played, we walked, and when we got back inside Max actually took a real nap and James and I did pitch those tents in the living room and have our readathon. And it was fun. And video messaging with some Girl Scout friends camp songs in funny voices was a lift to my afternoon as well.
I have been grieving Easter at church, I think I mentioned that in an earlier post, and the President's words today did not help. We all want this to be over but not at the sacrifice of people's lives.
Talked to dad today. I thought he'd be upset with us for getting mad at him about yesterday's post office adventure but he doesn't seem to be. Had such nice things to say about my kids. He's sending a book to my 15-year-old nephew about Easter to read to my kids over video chat. He had bought it for them to all read together when they were supposed to all be together at his birthday, so it's important to him that they do this. Easter is going to be hard. He's already been alone for his birthday. I don't know how to help him get through Easter. I really do wish the President would stop talking about Easter. The good news is Dad is still well. I worry about him all the time. I am trying to release what I have no control over.
Tomorrow is movie morning. I told James to stay in PJs. Maybe if we can work on having easier mornings mama won't melt down at 2 pm. Tomorrow night is also date night. Josh has a Chicago style pizza on order for him to pick up in North Seattle at 8:15 after the kids are in bed. They will get grilled peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and we will eat Chicago style pizza and be together. The only thing that makes me anything close to okay is that my little family is together and there are lots of hugs and snuggles. Too many, sometimes, being a human jungle gym is hard, but oh, how I love this family of mine.
Today I am grateful for clean socks, fresh air, reading, that James loves books, camp songs, dad being dad and being healthy, steak, coffee, snuggles, naps, grief, and the end of a long hard day.
James is a morning person in a family full of night owls. Which means he wakes up at 7:45 no one else wants to deal with him. I generally have a plan for what we are going to do with our morning, which generally gets shot down by him before 8:30 while he begs for television. Today my plan was to pitch pop up tents in our living room and read books. James LOVES books and crawling in forts. I thought it was a sure winner. He said nah, he'd rather watch TV.
I'm not against screens but put him on one all day every day and he becomes really difficult to deal with so I've been trying not to do it until the afternoon, but eff it. Tomorrow we are flipping the script and doing Movie Morning. Maybe after waking up and watching a movie he'll be ready to do other things without whining at me constantly about TV. It's worth the experiment.
The best thing we did this morning was our math lesson, where I dumped all the clean socks on the floor and the kids sorted them and James learned to count and multiply by 2. It was fun and we even all have clean socks in our drawers now. Would that that had taken all morning.
By 2 I had a breakdown. I was still in jammies, had almost gotten Max to nap so I could shower but then James woke him up, was trying to get clothes on so I could take them outside and Max was still climbing on me. I went down to where Josh is working and started sobbing incoherently I need help. I think I scared him. I need to get better about not bugging him too much with kid problems while he's working but asking for help before I completely fall apart. Someone wise said today that the tears of exhaustion we are all crying are grief and I think that is why all tears to me lead to ugly crying these days. There's unprocessed stuff there for sure.
I did get dressed, I did get them outside, and it did get better after that. Fresh air is truly amazing. I got to read a little while they played, we walked, and when we got back inside Max actually took a real nap and James and I did pitch those tents in the living room and have our readathon. And it was fun. And video messaging with some Girl Scout friends camp songs in funny voices was a lift to my afternoon as well.
I have been grieving Easter at church, I think I mentioned that in an earlier post, and the President's words today did not help. We all want this to be over but not at the sacrifice of people's lives.
Talked to dad today. I thought he'd be upset with us for getting mad at him about yesterday's post office adventure but he doesn't seem to be. Had such nice things to say about my kids. He's sending a book to my 15-year-old nephew about Easter to read to my kids over video chat. He had bought it for them to all read together when they were supposed to all be together at his birthday, so it's important to him that they do this. Easter is going to be hard. He's already been alone for his birthday. I don't know how to help him get through Easter. I really do wish the President would stop talking about Easter. The good news is Dad is still well. I worry about him all the time. I am trying to release what I have no control over.
Tomorrow is movie morning. I told James to stay in PJs. Maybe if we can work on having easier mornings mama won't melt down at 2 pm. Tomorrow night is also date night. Josh has a Chicago style pizza on order for him to pick up in North Seattle at 8:15 after the kids are in bed. They will get grilled peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and we will eat Chicago style pizza and be together. The only thing that makes me anything close to okay is that my little family is together and there are lots of hugs and snuggles. Too many, sometimes, being a human jungle gym is hard, but oh, how I love this family of mine.
Today I am grateful for clean socks, fresh air, reading, that James loves books, camp songs, dad being dad and being healthy, steak, coffee, snuggles, naps, grief, and the end of a long hard day.
Comments
Post a Comment